WiteIris's Harem Fic
by Sarah6
Summary: In which I torment my alter-ego by sticking her with a few special anime characters,crossover, Slayers and Escaflone fan's will like this one hopefully...or if you just feel like a laugh....


WiteIris's Harem Fic   
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Day One  
  
11:43AM-Bedroom  
  
Early morning the sun shining through the blinds, making it totally impossible for the author of this story to doze off once more, thus ending another night of not enough sleep, or so she thinks! The girl sat up, rubbing her eyes irritating brushing the blond ringlets out of her face. Fist lets get to the details. her name is WiteIris, Wite for short, she's short, blond, and loud.   
  
Wite: HEY! Quit making fun this early in the morning! ::grumble grumble::  
  
Yes, well, anyway, as most alter ego's go, this one has some distinguishing feature corresponding to her Name, WiteIris, in the fact that Her eyes have no Iris (think storm from X-men) as well as the Wite devil horns and tail. She also can spontaneously sprout wings...go figure. well with that behind, we'll continue with the story!  
  
Wite: It's about time!  
  
As I was saying, Wite tumbled out of bed, lazily and nearly tripped over a tea set that had been mysteriously laid out on her bedroom floor.  
  
"Ow!" she exclaimed as she sidestep the delicate looking China and tripped.  
"Who the hell left this here??" she wondered rubbing her bruised elbow.  
"Well I did of course Wite-chan!" a cheerful voice answered.  
  
Wite's eyes snapped up. "Xellos!"  
The Mazoku priest grinned and waved, "Hello!"  
"What are you doing here??"she demanded.  
"Why, Wite-chan! Have you forgotten? today is harem day!!" The trickster replied.  
  
Wite blinked, and suddenly fell over.  
"Harem day!! Oh NO!" she groaned.  
"Oh yes! Now hurry and drink your tea, I've got to go back down to the kitchen and make sure Vash and Gene don't eat all the doughnuts!...or get into a duel over them..." with that Xellos disappeared, leaving a very distressed alter ego.  
  
"No No, not Today! Arrg!" she complained. But she knew it was true, for it was the fate of every alter ego to be visited for a three day period by the authors top 5 favorite male anime characters, and today was that day.   
  
"Well," she sighed, pulling on a crumpled pair of jeans over her boxers, "so far I've got Xellos Metallium, Vash the Stampede, and Gene Starwind to worry 'bout. Who else is left?..." she pulled on a band-tee, and studied her self in the mirror.   
"Hmmm...today's a hat day," she nodded.  
  
Reaching over she grabbed a red Capri hat form her bedpost and pulled it on over her head. Which then connected rather painfully with something not at all part of the hat.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH," she cried snatching the hat from her head and throwing it, perhaps a little to hard, and the wall, where it landed with a thump, and a squeal. A very odd sound for any normal hat to make. But then again, normal hats probably wouldn't sprout blue haired monks either.  
  
"Ow, hey Wite that hurt ya know!"  
  
Wite humphed, "well Chichiri , if you go around hiding in people's hats and scaring the SHIT outta them! Maybe it wouldn't happen! what were you doing in there anyway???"  
  
"Well, it's-"  
  
"Wait, I know, harem day, Xellos told me....HEY! You weren't watching me dress, where you Chichiri???????????" Wite demanded, glaring at the poor Monk.  
  
"Well..Um...I, you see that hat, it pointed at, well...."  
  
"WHAT!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I ONLY SAW YOUR BACK!!!"  
  
"PERVERT!!!!!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
Chichiri made a mad dash for the door, escaping from the giant stuffed bunny Wite was now brandishing, and disappeared into the hall way.  
"CHICHIRI COME BACK HERE!!" Wite screamed, discarding the rabbit, charging into the hallway.........and ran smack into a very, VERY tall person.  
  
"OOf, oh, er... Sorry about that um..." Wite Took a step back and looked up, way up. "Oh, hi Rezo.  
  
"Rezo" then opened his eyes and glared a death glare down at the unfortunate alter ego.  
"What," he said coldly," did you just call me??"  
Wite's eyes widened. Open eyes, one very angry gold eye, one very angry green eye. Both focused on her.  
"I-I-I-I-I'm gonna go see if there's any doughnuts left!!!" Wite exclaimed and dashed down the stairs.  
  
12:03-PM-Hallway/Kitchen  
  
Wite leaned against the wall outside the kitchen, catching her breath.  
"Damn author! Always going for the dangerous psychotic villain types!" she muttered, entering the kitchen through the double swinging doors, and immediately blanched.  
  
The scene goes as following: Xellos standing over the stove stirring a very rancid smelling concoction, smoke billowing. Vash and Gene, obviously having devoured every single last crumb of doughnuts, were now raiding the fridge/cabnits/food closet throwing various items all around the room. Some eaten some, not-so-eaten.   
Chichiri was busy perched on top of the fridge, catching various items and they whizzed by, and determining whether he liked them or not. And Duo was sitting at the table...eating cake?(1)  
  
"What is going ON HERE???" Wite screamed.  
  
The all froze, eyes wide, like deer before a pair of headlights.  
  
"BREAKFAST!" replied Xellos and Chichiri.  
"LUNCH!" Gene and Vash replied, stuffing their head back into the fridge.  
"CAKE!" replied Duo, shoving another piece of cake in his mouth.  
  
Wite took a deep breath and counted back from 10.  
"Ok...."she said slowly, "Xellos, get that Mandragora stew(2) out of here before it #1. Catches fire, or #2. Someone passes out from the fumes! Vash, Gene?"she walked over to stand in front of them," Get the HELL out of my food storage's, you've both had you're fill and I'm not up to ass beating just yet. DUO!"  
  
Duo head snapped up, his expression equal to an oblivious child's.  
  
"Erm...Oh just eat your cake!" she said sliding into a seat at the table across from him.  
  
Duo smiled and happily continued to eat his cake. Xellos looked like he was about to object, that is until #1 and #2 happened, and he quickly grabbed the flaming pot and rushed out with it, tripping over and unconscious Chichiri on his way. Gene and Vash did retreat from the fridge/cabnits/food closet, sitting down at the table, their arms laded with food.  
  
"Hey,"Gene said, as Wite prepared to yell,"You said to get out, you never said we couldn't still eat the food we already HAD out!"  
  
"Yeh, that's right," Vash added smiling. With that they both began shoveling food into their mouths.  
  
"Oh, fine, but-HEY!" she exclaimed, "NO guns at the table!!" She said pointing at Vash's Big Silver one and Gene's goofy green one, both laying on the table half covered in boxes and bags.  
  
Vash and Gene exchanged glances, and shrugged, grabbing their guns and putting them back in to their holsters, and then continued eating.  
Wite let out an exasperated sigh. She then grabbed a discarded box of Cinnamon LIFE and poured herself a bowl.  
  
Xellos came trotting back in, and Wite absently wondered what he'd done with the stew."Well, that was fun, He said cheerily, stepping over Chichiri once again and took a seat next to Wite at the table, and likewise grabbed the box of LIFE and poured himself a bowl and began eating.  
Wite watched them eat, and suddenly smirked.  
"Hey, Xellos? Do you realize what you're eating??"  
  
"Huh?" Xellos said, around his mouth full of cereal.   
  
Wite pointed to the cover of the box, and had the distinct pleasure of watching the Mazoku Priest's eyes bug out of their sockets.(3) He then ran over to the sink and spit out the half chewed cereal.   
  
"YOUR MEAN!!!" he wailed, as the rest of the table cracked up laughing.   
  
Wite was about to turn back to her cereal when a grouchy Kopii stormed through the double doors. "Someone better have made coffee,"he announced.  
  
Wite flashed a quick glance at the coffee maker, and was relieved to see the timer had gone of and there was at least half a pot left. Satisfied that the whole house wasn't about to be blown to smithereens, she proceeded with eating her now slightly soggy LIFE. Only to suddenly choke on it.  
  
"HEY," she exclaimed waving a figure around at the confused bishonen, "There's only supposed to be 5 of you!!" There was a moment a silence, followed by a chorus of whistling and averted gazes.  
"Who's not supposed to be here??" Wite demanded, crossing her arms.  
  
Vash, who was picking nuts out of his raisin nut bran pointed at gene, who pointed at the now conscious Chichiri. Chichiri pointed to Duo, who shoved another piece of cake in his mouth and pointed at Kopii Rezo. Kopii Rezo frowned and pointed to Xellos, who was still at the sink, vigorously brushing his teeth. Xellos then ended the chain by pointing back at Vash.  
  
Wite's head dropped to the table. "Why me?" she asked no one in particular.  
Xellos finished his brushing and took his seat next to her once again. "So Wite-chan, what are we going to do today??"   
  
Bright and hopeful gazes regarded her and she looked up with a thoughtful expression. "Well..."she started, glancing at the fridge/cabinets/food closet,"I suppose I have to go grocery shopping."  
  
There were several loud thumps as the male occupants of the table all fell over in their chairs.  
"Is that all?" Xellos asked, looking quite shocked.  
"That's no fun ya know." Chichiri added.  
"What?" Wite retaliated, "you guys have almost totally eaten me out of house and home!"  
"Seems sensible to me," Kopii offered from where he leaned next to the coffee maker, sipping from his mug.  
"Well, lets go now,"said Vash, "I'm getting bored."  
"Oh heaven forbid,"Wite muttered. She stood and brought her bowl over to the sink, then grabbed her keys from the counter. She paused and glanced around the room. "Are you all coming???"  
  
"Yes!" six voices chorused. Wite rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. "Thank L-sama I got that SUV instead of the Firebird.  
  
1:18PM-Wite's SUV/SuperMarket  
  
"Can I drive?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please??"  
  
"No."  
  
"I'll go slow!"  
  
"No"  
  
"But WHY???"  
  
"XELLOS! You DON'T even have a license!"  
  
"So??" The Mazoku, said crossing his arms and sitting back in his seat, "I still wrote a very popular driver's manual." (4)  
"And have you read it lately?"Wite rolled her eyes as she pulled into the parking lot of the local supermarket. Luckily there was a spot empty right outside the doors, and she quickly pulled into it. As they scrambled pout of the SUV, Wite immediately noticed a problem. "Xellos, Chichiri, Kopii? Did you all HAVE to bring your staffs??"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Oh fine, HEY you guys we only need one cart!" she called to Vash Gene and Duo.  
  
"Only one??"   
  
"YES!"   
  
Grumbles followed her into the store as she push her single cart into the store, and began scaling the shelves." Hmmm, Xellos, what does the list say?"  
  
Xellos fished the grocery list they had made previously out of his bag, "Let's see; bread."  
"Got it."  
"Mustard."  
"Got it."  
"Mashed potato mix."  
"Got it."  
"Crisco."(5)  
"Xellos!"  
"What??"  
"Can we get ice cream??" Gene asked.  
"YES! Ice cream!" Duo chimed in.  
"I want mint chocolate chip!" Xellos informed them.  
"No! Cookie dough!" said Vash.  
"I think we should get double Dutch chocolate with marshmallow chunks," Chichiri said.  
"No! Superman!" Duo exclaimed.  
  
There was an awkward moment of silence. Followed by a stampede to the frozen food section, leaving Wite and Kopii; who'd chosen to remain silent during the argument, behind a cloud of dust. "Idiots," Kopii remarked.  
  
"Mmm hmm,"Wite agreed, "Well come one, Kopii, I think we'll go pick up some cinnamon buns from the bakery."(6)  
  
"Really?" the clone's eyes shone with interest.  
"Sure!"  
  
Wite was actually starting to enjoy herself. Maybe Harem day wasn't so bad after all. Things were going pretty well. Until there came a loud crash from the frozen food section. "Oh no!" Wite groaned. She looked around for Kopii but found the priest had somehow wandered off. Oh well she rushed off hoping it wasn't too late.  
  
"We CAN'T get superman!"  
"And why not?"  
"BECAUSE! It's nothing but multicolored vanilla!  
"So what's wrong with that?"  
"There's no point! Mint chocolate chip actually tastes like something!(7)  
Xellos and Duo gave each other death glares.  
"Ok ok, you two break it up, Duo, Xellos is right, it's just vanilla, I have some at home already. No gene and Vash didn't eat it, yes I checked. Xellos put the mint chocolate chip in the cart. VASH GENE! Pick up those ice cream bars and put them back where you found them. Get that smile off you face and put the Crisco, Whipped cream and cherries back were you got them. Xellos! I can see them in your bag! FINE! We can keep them for Sundays, but the Crisco goes back now! I'm going to the check out line, anyone who wants to leave will be there in five minutes!" Wite drew a deep breath and pushed her way passed them and headed to the check outline, avoiding the gazes of several shocked onlookers.  
  
A few minutes of waiting passed and she pulled up to the counter and began loading her groceries onto the mini conveyer belt. She was joined shortly by Gene, Duo Vash and Chichiri, who all grinned sheepishly and asked if the could get candy bars. Wite sighed but nodded. "Where's Xellos and Kopii Rezo?" she asked. "Well, "Vash snickered,"I saw Kopii in the beauty and health cares section looking at hair dye."  
"Guess he thinks that if his hair is a different color he'll be better then the original Rezo,"laughed Chiciri.  
"And Xellos?" Wite said.  
"I think he's waiting out by the car,"Gene replied.  
  
Wite nodded, and handed the cashier the money she owned. "No it's all right, " she said to the bagger, "I have four formidable bag carriers right here."  
Gene, Vash, Chichiri and Duo took the hint and begen gathering up the many bags.  
"Kopii!" Wite yelled,"We're going!!"  
Koppi appeared out from one of the isle looking a little more mischeivious then usual.  
"What's with you," Wite inquired, as he passed her.  
"Nothing," he replied, as they made their way to the door.  
"Hey Wite, did you get any doughnuts??" Vash asked, as he ruffled through his share of the load.  
"No Vash," she replied groping through her jean pocket for her keys.  
"But why not???"  
"Beacause I knew you'd eat them all, so what's the-HEY! Where are my keys??"  
  
She was answered by a loud screeching noise, as a very familiar SUV pulled up in front of them, missing Wite's toes by mere inches. The car door slammed, and xellos walked around the front looking particualy smug.  
"Load 'er up." He said.  
"XELLOS!! Gimme my keys!!"  
"Are you gonna make me?"  
"Yes!!"  
"How?"  
"Gimme them!" Wite lunge for the keys in the mazoku's gloved hand, but it was skillfully avoided, and Xellos held the keys high over his head, where there was no hope for the height challenged alter-ego of ever reaching them.  
"Xellos you bastard!"  
"Now now Wite-chan, no name calling!"   
"Guys, help me, "Wite called, but then realized that they had all piled into the car, while she and xellos argued.  
"YOU ALL SUCK!" she screeched.  
"Well," continued Xellos, walking back around to the front seat, "We're going bowling! Coming?"  
  
"There is no way in hell i'm getting in that car with you int he drivers seat, "Wite said crossing her arms.  
  
Xellos looked at the the rest of the guys, an eye eyebrow raised, they looked at him, then back at wite, and smiled.   
  
2:45PM-Wite's SUV(again)/Bowling Ally   
  
"Wow Kopii, I can't believe you made away with the entire store's supply of cinnamon."  
"Yea, what are you going to do with it?"  
"Make stuff."  
"Ooooh."  
  
Wite stared out the window of the front passenger seat, wondering vaguely whether the ropes were lose enough to allow her to bang her head against it. No such luck. The tires squealed once again as Xellos rounded another corner causing everyone who wasn't tied to their seat to be flattened against the left windows.  
"Xellos, "Wite said, "Do you even know where the Bowling Ally is?"  
"Nope!"  
"Then how are you supposed to find it?"  
"Intuition!" he smiled his sickeningly sweet close-eyed smile at her.  
Wite turned to look in the back, "Guys? Would you be sweethearts and untie me, pleeeease?"  
  
They paused in their ice cream eating rampage to glance at her and smile in imitation to Xellos, before turning back to their food.  
"Kopii, KOPII! Come on! I bought you those cinnamon buns!!"  
Kopii looked up, "Yeah...but they're all gone!"   
"Already??"  
"Yes..."  
"I'll make you more! LOTS more!"  
"For all of us??" exclaimed Chichiri, Gene, and Duo.  
"And doughnuts?" Vash chimed in.  
"Um...yeah, sure!"  
"Will you make me a whip cream and cherry Sunday???" Xellos asked.  
"Fine! You certainly bought enough of it," Wite said, eyeing the cartons piled in the back.  
"Promise?"they all chorused.  
"Yes!"  
"Ok!"   
  
Wite sighed in relief as the bonds that had tied her wrists were loosened, and then proceed to beat everyone of them with an umbrella she found lying on the floor. Except for Xellos, who was spared because she didn't feel her life was worth it. He was driving like a maniac as it was.  
  
"Hmmm, that looked like it hurt, "Xellos smiled, running another light.  
"GENE!" Wite called.  
"Don't hurt me!!"  
"Oh shut up and gimme the CD case." Wite said  
"Oh, ok," Gene said handing her the case.  
  
Wite took the case and began shuffling through it.  
"Aha!" she exclaimed smiling as she pulled out what she was looking for and popped it into the CD player, turning the volume to max.  
  
"What's that?" asked Xellos.  
"Pay back." Wite replied.  
"Huh-" but he was cut off as the speaker began blasting music.  
  
"Put a smile on your face!  
Make the world a better place  
Put a smile on your face  
(Whatcha gonna do, say, whatcha gonna do)  
Put a smile on your face  
Make the world a better place  
Put a smile on your face  
(Whatcha gonna do, say, whatcha gonna do)"  
(8)  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"  
"Seat belts!!" Wite cried, as the SUV swerved and missed a telephone pole by inches.  
"Wite." Xellos hissed through clenched teeth, "Get...that...out...NOW!!"  
"Oh come on Xellos! Put a smile on your face!" she sang, "Isn't it like Amelia reincarnated.  
"Um, Wite, "Said Chichiri nervously as Xellos nearly pummeled a stop sign, "Maybe you should take it out, I think I see police lights ya know!!!"  
"Oh! Oh! Bowing Alley!" Vash shouted pointing out.  
More screams were issued as the SUV took a finally swerve, doing a 360 and coming to a lurching halt, in a parking space parallel to the building reading Al's Bowl-O-rama.(9)  
"Nice driving Xel, I'll remember to bring a gun to shoot myself with next time."  
"Sometime I think you'd make a great dragon, you know that?" Xellos muttered.  
"Really?" Asked a starry-eyed Wite.  
Xellos groaned. Wite silently thanked the gods he hadn't blasted her away yet.  
I'm just too cute, she thought, smirking, as they made their way into the bowling ally.  
  
They ran into a little problem at the front desk, when both Gene and Kopii Rezo refused to put on their shoes.  
  
"Huh uh, no WAY! I'm not putting those shoes on!" Gene huffed."They're ridiculous!" "I agree entirely, " said Kopii.(10)  
"What's wrong? I think their cool," Said Duo, as he pulled on his orange and blue color shoes.  
"Not to mention incredibly comfortable, " Xellos stated, tying his purple and gold colored ones.  
"Hey Gene, you wanted to go bowling just as much as the rest of them, and Kopii, you can just sit out if you don't like the shoes."  
  
The priest and the outlaw regarded each other, "Fine!" the said in unison.  
  
"Hey! Can I get a hat!?" asked Chichiri, eyeing the hats of various bowling teams Wite had never heard of before.  
"Fine fine, whatever," Wite said pulling on her own pair of black and white shoes. She just finished tying them when a loud out burst came form Gene.   
"You've GOT to be KIDDING"!  
"Oh what is it now,"Wite asked standing up.  
"Wite! All they have left in size 13 is cotton candy pink, and baby blue!! WHO MAKES PINK AND BABY BLUE MEN'S SIZE 13 BOWLING SHOES????"  
"I think I'll sit this one out, " Said Kopii, rubbing the space between his eyebrows.  
"Oh Gene quit being a baby and put you shoes on!" Wite said, "Come guys lets go get a lane." They walked off leaving Gene to make his very important decision.  
  
6:25PM-Home again  
  
"I still say Chichiri cheated!"  
  
"Gene, drop it."  
  
"No! Disappearing into his hat and reappearing two feet in front of the pins is CHEATING!"  
  
"Show me where it says that in the rule book," Chichiri said, sipping his root beer.  
  
"You're not supposes to cross the red line! IT'S THE RULE!"  
  
"I didn't cross it, I went through my hat, technically I wasn't even in this dimension so there's no way I could have crossed that line ya know."  
  
"I said DROP IT!" Wite ordered, form where she and Xellos sat in front of her computer.  
"AHA! Checkmate! I win!" Xellos grinned.  
"Damnit," Wite muttered.  
"What else can you do with this thing," Xellos questioned, tapping on the screen. "Oh lots of stuff, like get rid of namagomi Mazoku for one," Wite smiled getting up and heading to the kitchen.  
"Ha HA Wite-chan!" he called after her.  
  
"More coffee, Kopii?" Wite asked as she stepped in., "I think I know now where Zelgadis gets it."  
  
"Don't start with me!" the clone growled from where he sat at the table sipping from another cup.  
  
Wite shrugged, she hoped he wasn't still mad about when Vash and Duo had added hot sauce to his Iced Tea at the Bowling ally. Actually, they all had been in on it, but Kopii needn't know all the details.  
  
Duo walked in, avoiding Kopii's glare."What's for dinner?" he asked Wite.  
"Hmmmm..."Wite opened the fridge, scanning the selves.  
"Oh, um, I already ordered pizza!" Vash said poking his head through the door.  
"VASH! I just bought all this food!"  
Vash grinned sheepishly, 'Yea...I know, but you didn't buy any pizza!"  
Wite sighed, "Well what kind did you get?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"Yes!" she exclaimed, "I hate Pizza Hut!"  
"Oh, well, that's ok, I got Domino's."  
"Ok then."  
"You like anchovies, right??"  
"What!" Wite, Duo and Kopii exclaimed.  
"I only got one with anchovies!" Vash assured them.  
Wite's eyes narrowed. "Only one?"  
Vash nodded.  
"Exactly how many did you get, Vash?"  
The $$60,000,000 man paled. "Um...about....ten?"  
  
"TEN!!!!"  
  
"AHHHHH!!! DON'T HURT ME!!"  
  
The next fifteen minutes were spent in total chaos as Wite chased Vash around every room in the entire house, brandishing various weapons and other sharp or heavy objects.  
  
"I'm betting she'll get him half way up the stairs, with the giant mallet," Said Xellos, as he and Gene watched Xellos's SIM lady take a shower for the third time, "Any takers?"  
  
"In the bathroom, and she strangles him with the shower curtain, "Gene replied.  
  
"In the studio, and she turns him into a pencil porcupine," Chichiri called from the couch as he flipped the channels on the TV.(11)  
  
"What's the winner get?" Gene asked.  
"Hmmmm...."Xellos's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Oh!" he clapped his hands together, "The winner....gets to sleep with her!"  
  
"OK!"  
  
The three contenders sat patiently for the next few minutes listening to the sounds of the chase.  
  
*thump thump thump...WHAM!!* "OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"  
"Serves you right you MOOCH!"  
  
Gene and Chichiri groaned, and Xellos folded his arms behind his head, one eye opened grinning.  
Wite walked in, wiping her hands together, looking pleased, "Well that was invigorating,"She stated.  
"Pizza's here!" Duo exclaimed rushing into the room and over to the door right as the doorbell rung.  
Wite sighed and head to the door as well.  
"Hello, here's your-Woah!" the pizza guy was nearly knocked over as Duo grabbed all ten pizzas and ran back through the living room into the kitchen with them. "FOOD!" he called as he ran.   
"FOOD!" chorused the rest of the guys, rushing into the kitchen as well.  
Wite sweat-dropped. "Sorry about that, she said, "How much was it?"  
"Er, oh the total comes to $112.78!"  
Wite groaned and reached for her wallet, paying the bewildered pizza guy.  
"Thanks, "He said, accepting the cash,"Um, say...Is that guy ok, he asked staring at Vash, who lay unconscious halfway up the stairs, a large red bump and little pink stars swirling around his head.  
"Oh yeah sure, he's fine, he's the one who ORDERED the 10 pizza's that cost ME $112.78."  
The pizza guy took a hint, "OK, well you have a nice night miss!"  
Wite nodded and closed the door, heading to the kitchen, hoping here was at least one piece on non anchovy pizza left.  
  
8:03PM-Living room  
  
"Are you crazy? Chandler's going to get together with Monica! That Janis thing will never last!"  
"How would you know? This is the first episode you've ever seen!"  
"Intuition!"  
Wite threw a pillow at Xellos. "Idiot," she muttered. Intuition her ass.  
"Hey Wite? Are you going to make our cinnamon buns now?" Vash said sitting up from his place on the floor.  
'Yes, I do believe you promised to make them," Kopii said, trying to sound as if the subject didn't interest him in the least.  
  
Oh come on guys!" Wite whined as she stretched across the couch and rested her head on Gene's leg, "I'm to tired to cook, plus it's late, I'll make em for breakfast."  
  
Gene looked down as the tawny head in hi lap, and up at Xellos, who was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, and grinned, flashing the victory sign. Xellos eyes narrowed, and he waved his finger at Gene.   
  
He then sat up suddenly clapping his hands,"Oh yes! That reminds me Wite! You can make my whip-cream and cherry Sunday now! Certainly you're not too tired to do that!"  
  
Wite groaned.  
  
"A promise is a promise, Wite-chan!" the Grinning Mazoku reminded her.  
"Ooooooh, all right," Wite sighed getting up and trudging into the kitchen. Xellos followed her, a slight skip in his step. He paused as the doorway, and winked at Gene, flashing him the victory sign, before disappearing into the next room.  
  
"That damn Mazoku, he's been planning this the entire time,"Gene exclaimed.  
'Well, I definitely wouldn't put it passed him," Chichiri said.  
"Ridiculous, "Muttered Kopii Rezo.  
"Oh yeah, and I'm sure you just like her for the cinnamon buns, right Kopii?" Vash asked winking.  
The clone crossed his arms frowning, but said nothing.  
  
Suddenly a shriek was issued from the kitchen, and the door burst open as Wite came crashing through. She slammed the door shut, bracing her entire body against it to keep it closed. Her face was beet red, mostly from blushing, but also because she apparently had cherry juice dripping from her as well.  
  
"XELLOS!!!" she screamed through the door, "YOU F$@*ING NAMAGOMI! I DID NOT SAY I WOULD SERVE YOU YOUR SUNDAY USING MY BRA YOU PERVERT!"  
  
Xellos then materialized behind her. "You also didn't say you'd be serving me THAT type of Sunday either, but did that stop me??" He asked ginning devilishly.   
  
The rest of the male occupants gaped at his appearance. Xellos who had apparently lost his shirt somewhere down the road, was also dripping in cherry juice (along with a few actual cherries). He held an open bottle of whip cream in his right hand, and a very stained pink bra, that probably used to be white, in the left. The only normal part (normal for Xellos that is) was the grin plastered on his face.  
  
Wite screamed again, chucking one of Vash's discarded boots at the Mazoku's head. Xellos easily dodged it, but Wite took that opportunity to bolt past him, out the other door and up the stairs.  
  
"OH what fun!" The Trickster priest exclaimed, chasing up after her.  
  
Silence held for a few moments, as the shell shocked group left in the living room stared up the stairs.   
  
"Lucky bastard, "Gene grumbled, slouching down on the couch.   
"I didn't think he was serious, " Kopiii commented.   
"She shouldn't have gone up the stairs, "Duo said, shaking his head, "They ALWAYS say, 'Never go up the stairs!' " (12)   
"How do you supose he got her bra without taking her shirt off first?"Chichiri asked in amazement.   
"Do you think there's any cherries left?" Vash wondered out loud as he studied the closed kitchen door curiously.   
"Don't know, but I wouldn't go in there, if I were you, she might make you help her clean it up ya know." Said Chichiri, turning back to the TV, "Why d'you suppose they like that fountain so much?"   
The others shrugged.   
  
"Hey!" Exclaimed Gene, who had picked up the TV guide, "Vampire Hunter D's on HBO!"(13)   
"Cool, what channel?"   
"Fifteen."   
  
The four remaining occupants sat happily watching as blood induced carnage, and incredibly cool animation effects flashed across the screen capturing their attention span for a good hour.   
  
They hardly noticed when Wite shuffled back in the room, wet haired, clad in a pair of yellow boxers, and very buoyant T-shirt reading:"I'm just one big f$@*ing ray of sunshine, aren't I?"   
  
"Oh look,"she said groggily, "It's D...D's nice." She finished with a large yawn and flopped down into the recliner.   
"Well, looks like someone's been busy, " Gene observed testily, and was immediately beaned with a fuzzy pink slipper.   
  
Wite nudged Vash's back with her now bear foot, "Get me that will you?"   
"Well, hello everyone!" Xellos bounced into the room. "Here we are," He said as he began tossing the sleeping bags and pillows he held under his arms to the others.   
"What are these for?" asked Duo, examining his.   
"Well, since Wite's room is such a terrible mess, and the guest rooms are a bit full, I thought we'd all sleep down here tonight!"   
"Full? With what?" Gene asked.   
"Stuff," grumbled Wite pulling her slipper back on.   
"Oh and I just thought I'd let you guys know you'll be drawing straws for the shower tomorrow. Except for me and Wite-chan, of course, we've already taken ours!"Xellos grinned, winking at Wite.   
  
Wite didn't bother unburying her head from her arms, but raised her hand in a slightly obscene gesture towards the Mazoku.   
The others snickered as Xellos crossed his arms. "No need to be rude, "he sighed.   
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
1. Yes, Duo likes cake. And he's been eating it for...awhile now... Same one too...I dunno ask Jessie!   
  
2. This would be the famous stew that Xellos made to win a cooking contest in the Slayers NEXT series. Thanks to Xelia-chan and Phoenix, from the Dragon-Demon mailing list, who helped me with finding the name.   
  
3. Yes, Xellos, being a monster, is a little sensitive to anything that has to do with love and life. It's actual is only weakness, so a cereal named Cinnamon LIFE probably wouldn't do him any good.   
  
4. "Xellos's Driver's Guide" by Miss Nightfall can be found here .   
  
5. And you can visit here for the many interesting uses of Crisco. CD's very creative in my opinion.   
  
6. From one of the sequels to "A Flower Who's Name I Don't Know Yet" By Silvestris in which Kopii Rezo develops a healthy (give or take) appreciation for cinnamon.   
  
7. This would be an actual argument I've had with my friend's little brother at one point.   
  
8. Song by Vitamin C called "Put a Smile on Your Face." I can't think of a better song to get back at an evil namagomi Mazoku. I also can't believe that CD is actually useful.   
  
9. Little stunt pulled many a time in "Blues Brother's 2000."   
  
10. Misa-chan insisted I had to do something with the shoes. Who wouldn't?   
  
11. It's CLUE Xellos's way!   
  
12. Referring to 'Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and just about every other horror movie where "The stupid blond chick with the big boob's runs up the stair when she should go out the door."   
  
13. Hey, if they can watch anime and be anime characters at the same time on Nadesico, why not here? (OT: The only reason D was not in this fic, along with Fred Low, was because of certain people ::cough:: Jessie and Missa ::cough:: who just don't like to share!   
  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
*Author's Note: Well here it is; the first chapter of my first Harem Fic. Living proof I need to stop borrowing other people's lives and buy one of my own. I know I said Esca fans would like it, so if you guys are confused just hold on, the second chapter's alomst done and you'll see that I'm actually NOT crazy!  
Like it? Hate it? Please send any questions or comments you may have. And as always, flames will be disregarded and fed to my pet demon who lives under the bed.*  
~Sarah (A.K.A.: WiteIris)~  
  
*Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character's/Movies/Brand Names used in this story, with the exception of WiteIris. She mine, and if you steal her I shall be forced to beat you senseless with my wack-a-matt stick!   



End file.
